What to Do When You Don't Like Your Roommate's Friend

By Tamiera Vandegrift on October 6, 2017

The roommate relationship is a challenging one. Whether you are living with a randomly assigned stranger or your best friend, living with another individual is a lot to get used to. Suddenly, you’re saying goodbye to your personal space and welcoming another person into your space.

If you are lucky, you’ll have a roommate that you really hit it off with. You’ll have study dates, Netflix marathons, and overall just an amazing college experience together. Even if you absolutely love your roommate, you might not love their friends. Whether they’re rude, loud, disruptive, or some other thing, they just don’t sit right with you.

Every time you hear their voice or a knock on the door, the hairs on the back of your neck rise up and you are ready to barricade yourself in your room for the rest of the semester, right? Well, don’t despair. There are solutions to this difficult situation. Keep reading to learn what you can do when you don’t like your roommate’s friend(s)!

Get to know the friend

Why not? Maybe you have something in common with this person that you just haven’t identified yet. Even if their general presence disgusts you, let down your walls for a moment and let yourself truly get to know this person. Maybe when you first met them, they were having a bad day or they just put their foot in their mouth on more than one occasion. Either way, it’s hard to believe that a person is 100 percent bad. Everyone has some sort of redeeming quality.

Try to strike up a conversation with this individual whenever they’re visiting your roommate. Look for opportunities to join them in their plans. Seeing this person outside of the negative connotation you associate them with could give you a chance to peek behind the curtain and find someone worth befriending. If you are hesitant, remember that you have nothing to lose. If nothing changes, you can just say that you tried your best and it just was not meant to be.

Image via: www.pexels.com

Talk to your roommate

Honesty is the best policy. Have a discussion with your roommate about your feelings and fully disclose what it is about their friend that bothers you. Are they always too loud and obnoxious? Ask your roommate to tell them to keep it down every once in a while. Are they rude to you? Tell your roommate that their friend has offended you and that you would appreciate it if it didn’t happen again. If worse comes to worse, don’t be discouraged to speak to the friend yourself. They might not have any idea that their behavior is upsetting to you.

You can also set some boundaries with your roommate. After all, your home is your space too. You have the absolute right not to be made to feel uncomfortable in what should be your personal space and refuge. Ask your roommate if they can limit their friend’s time at your place, or better yet, encourage your roommate to spend time with this friend outside of the apartment. As mentioned, honesty is the best policy and it goes a long way.

Image via: www.pexels.com

Make some space

Even though the apartment is your space and you shouldn’t need to always accommodate others who make you uncomfortable, keep in mind that it’s your roommate’s space too. They are paying rent and utilities and they have the right to have friends over too.

With that being said, use the time that this friend is spending with your roommate to do personal things for yourself. Go to the library or local coffee shop to knock out some homework and studying time. Make plans with your own friends to get out of the house and enjoy some more positive vibes.

Spend time in your room catching up on your mental health by writing, drawing, or just enjoying some shows you’ve been meaning to binge. There are many things to enjoy during your time in college and you should never let another individual keep you from doing so.

Image via: www.pexels.com

Worst case scenario: talk to your RA or an administrator at your property

If all else fails and you simply cannot bear to tolerate your roommate’s friend anymore, it’s time to take it to the next level and work with a figure of authority to help you make a compromise with your roommate. If this friend constantly insults you or uses language that makes you uneasy or offends you (inappropriate jokes, racist statements, sexist comments, etc.), you have every right to put your foot down and make it clear that this behavior is not okay. It is still your space and you should do whatever you can to keep it a safe and healthy environment.

Ideally, we’ll always have a roommate that we get along with and visitors that provide nothing but good, positive vibes. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. However, issues can be solved with communication, honesty, or reaching out to other individuals that can help. Your college experience should be something fun and positive. Never, never, never let anyone get in the way of that, even if they’re a regular, unwelcomed guest.

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